Last weekend was a very lazy one for me and Hubby primarily because I've been sick and having allergies again. My allergy meds rendered me unconscious for twelve hours at a time. Hence, the over abundance of sleep.
Once I've finally come to, I had the weirdest feeling come over me. I thought of babies and how come everybody got pregnant except me! Friends and family who were unable to conceive suddenly conceived and now are about to or has given birth. Told you it was the weirdest thing ever. I suddenly had this maternal desire to carry my own biological baby in my arms.
Poor Hubby was the brunt of my outburst. I saw him get deflated with my sudden longing for motherhood. I tell you, if he could somehow magically conjure up a biological baby, he would have done it to appease me. It's really neither of our faults we couldn't conceive. It's just a freak of nature that we are lacking what other couples merely take for granted.
Anyway, here are some funny, embarrassing and frustrating comments from well-meaning friends, family members and acquaintances.
What I really really dread the most are family reunions and get-togethers.
"O ano? Buntis ka na ba"
"Wala pa ba?"
"Aba, kelan pa kayo mag kakanak?"
"Ano ba problema, bakit wala pa?"
"Nagdadasal ka ba?"
If I could just put a sign on my shirt that says
"No, I'm not pregnant yet, just fat"
"I don't know when I will be"
"I can tell you what's wrong, why we haven't conceived but, I don't feel like it"
"Yes, I pray"
Hubby is the only male heir to their family name, to add insult to injury. So the pressure of populating the world with little ones bearing his surname is doubled. My mother-in-law even offered me a bribe! You know, to speed things up.
I also get two-bit advice from people that I barely know. Like:
"You prop your feet up against the wall after intercourse so that the sperm will not escape and know where to go and then shake your legs so that they can get there faster." I'm like, Dude, the sperms are made to know exactly what to do, where to go and go there as fast as they could.
"Ma'am wala ka pang anak? Haay naku. may papainom ako sa iyong magic juice, yung isa naming kasama hindi magkaanak anak din eh, ngayon tatlo na anak" "Seven hundred fifty lang per pack nung juice"
Riiight, magic juice.
I get religious advice too.
"Nagsayaw na ba kayo sa Obando?" There is a festival in Obando, Bulacan that is believed to help childless couples to conceive, once they dance together in the yearly festival. Hundred of childless couples flock there every year hoping to be blessed with children.
Hubby, my hubby, dance in public, in sweltering heat, with thousands in attendance? Don't think so. Next advice please.
Wear only boxers. Yup, did that too. Oh, you mean Hubby?
Doctors and nurses all give us advice. One expensive procedure after the next. I remember one incident, Hubby's doctor asked for a sperm count. We were at a clinic and I asked the cashier how much it cost and Hubby got pissed. I said, "Why, what's matter?"
"Your voice is too loud, everybody could hear! You even asked if I could do it in the bathroom!"
Bwa ha ha ha.
I get envious remarks too:
"Buti ka pa Miss Leics, anytime, anywhere!" Ahhmm, we're not rabbits, you know.
Family side comments like:
"The elders in our family are dying, we need to re-populate the family!"
I am in my ripe old age of 37, certainly on the late side for conceiving children. I get sudden bouts of wanting my own child. But I don't get them often. I guess I'm approaching middle age and worry about Hubby and me getting old and no one being concerned if something happened to us.
One priest friend even told us that there's an orphanage in Tagaytay that we might want to consider. He would choose a light-skinned baby for us, so that we can pass off the baby as our own. Personally, I would prefer having my own biological child first before considering adoption. If we are to consider adoption, I only like to adopt my brother's kids. I tried, but he wouldn't let me. He he he.
Some friends even suggested conceiving via in vitro. But what's the point of having a baby if we are not the baby's parents?
So for now, at least, my only baby is Hubby.