Oh baby, baby, baby....

Last weekend was a very lazy one for me and Hubby primarily because I've been sick and having allergies again. My allergy meds rendered me unconscious for twelve hours at a time. Hence, the over abundance of sleep.

Once I've finally come to, I had the weirdest feeling come over me. I thought of babies and how come everybody got pregnant except me! Friends and family who were unable to conceive suddenly conceived and now are about to or has given birth. Told you it was the weirdest thing ever. I suddenly had this maternal desire to carry my own biological baby in my arms.

Poor Hubby was the brunt of my outburst. I saw him get deflated with my sudden longing for motherhood. I tell you, if he could somehow magically conjure up a biological baby, he would have done it to appease me. It's really neither of our faults we couldn't conceive. It's just a freak of nature that we are lacking what other couples merely take for granted.

Anyway, here are some funny, embarrassing and frustrating comments from well-meaning friends, family members and acquaintances.

What I really really dread the most are family reunions and get-togethers.

"O ano? Buntis ka na ba"
"Wala pa ba?"
"Aba, kelan pa kayo mag kakanak?"
"Ano ba problema, bakit wala pa?"
"Nagdadasal ka ba?"

If I could just put a sign on my shirt that says

"No, I'm not pregnant yet, just fat"
"I don't know when I will be"
"I can tell you what's wrong, why we haven't conceived but, I don't feel like it"
"Yes, I pray"

Hubby is the only male heir to their family name, to add insult to injury. So the pressure of populating the world with little ones bearing his surname is doubled. My mother-in-law even offered me a bribe! You know, to speed things up.

I also get two-bit advice from people that I barely know. Like:

"You prop your feet up against the wall after intercourse so that the sperm will not escape and know where to go and then shake your legs so that they can get there faster." I'm like, Dude, the sperms are made to know exactly what to do, where to go and go there as fast as they could.

"Ma'am wala ka pang anak? Haay naku. may papainom ako sa iyong magic juice, yung isa naming kasama hindi magkaanak anak din eh, ngayon tatlo na anak" "Seven hundred fifty lang per pack nung juice"

Riiight, magic juice.

I get religious advice too.

"Nagsayaw na ba kayo sa Obando?" There is a festival in Obando, Bulacan that is believed to help childless couples to conceive, once they dance together in the yearly festival. Hundred of childless couples flock there every year hoping to be blessed with children.






Hubby, my hubby, dance in public, in sweltering heat, with thousands in attendance? Don't think so. Next advice please.

Wear only boxers. Yup, did that too. Oh, you mean Hubby?

Doctors and nurses all give us advice. One expensive procedure after the next. I remember one incident, Hubby's doctor asked for a sperm count. We were at a clinic and I asked the cashier how much it cost and Hubby got pissed. I said, "Why, what's matter?"

"Your voice is too loud, everybody could hear! You even asked if I could do it in the bathroom!"

Bwa ha ha ha.

I get envious remarks too:

"Buti ka pa Miss Leics, anytime, anywhere!" Ahhmm, we're not rabbits, you know.

Family side comments like:

"The elders in our family are dying, we need to re-populate the family!"

Whoa, apocalypse?

I am in my ripe old age of 37, certainly on the late side for conceiving children. I get sudden bouts of wanting my own child. But I don't get them often. I guess I'm approaching middle age and worry about Hubby and me getting old and no one being concerned if something happened to us.

One priest friend even told us that there's an orphanage in Tagaytay that we might want to consider. He would choose a light-skinned baby for us, so that we can pass off the baby as our own. Personally, I would prefer having my own biological child first before considering adoption. If we are to consider adoption, I only like to adopt my brother's kids. I tried, but he wouldn't let me. He he he.

Some friends even suggested conceiving via in vitro. But what's the point of having a baby if we are not the baby's parents?

So for now, at least, my only baby is Hubby.

International Symbol For Marriage

Too funny :-)

Lunch with Hubby

Finally had the chance to have lunch out last Sunday. We rarely go out these days, as you can probably tell from my blog. Anyway, we wanted to try Seryna Japanese Resto in LIttle Tokyo near Cinema Square but they close early and we weren't able to catch them on time.

We went to Shinjuku instead. It was my dad's favorite Japanese resto when he was still alive. Maybe because it was very close to his studio. I have a vague recollection of dining there once, when the restaurant was still small.



Anyway, here's our spread.









I like the spicy tempura maki (second photo from top). The food is generally good and reasonably priced. There were some Japanese patrons inside so we know that food will be ok.

Under the Weather

I've been feeling the weather this past few days. I even took this day off to rest but I lost my voice in the process. Not sure why that is so after resting and sleeping pretty much the whole day. I should be feeling better.

Maybe I should write a piece to while away the time.

So here I am typing away. I swear I typed over 500 words, but when I read it again, it sounded so self-absorbed and didn't make much sense. So, I erased it all.

My brain is too foggy to function.

So, to those who are reading this, I wish you a safe and healthy week.

My Housekeeper's Grocery List

This is the kind of list that I have to decipher every weekend:



I love my housekeeper and all, but the things on a typical grocery list are too funny sometimes.

Tell me, can you find beef roe? Lumpia saper? Bague beens?

He he he.

Phone Conversation

I was calling somebody's office. I've made several calls in a span of a few hours because I badly needed to talk to that person. The secretary who's been answering my calls seems a bit pissed today. I was even extra courteous on the phone since I really really need to talk to that person.

Me: "Hi, Can I speak to Miss So and So please?"

Secretary: In Tagalog, "She's not here yet, please call around 2:00 p.m."

Come 2 pm I call back.

Secretary "Not yet here"

2:30 p.m.

Me: "Do you know what time she'll be back?"

Secretary; "Miss so and So said she might be in at 3:00 p.m. today. PLEASE CALL BACK AN HOUR AGO"

Well, I did call an hour ago, but Ms. So and So wasn't there either!!! Ha ha ha.

Random thoughts about wedding and marriage

I just watched Eat, Pray, Love on video. I’ve read the book of course, but only had the chance to watch the movie lately. Anyway, watching the movie renewed my interest about Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of the book, and wondered if she really got her happily ever after, years after the book was written and published. I browsed the web and came upon an article at the Wall Street Journal Digital Network. The article was written by Elizabeth Gilbert’s friend, and fellow writer, Ann Patchett. This is an excerpt from the said article:

AP: Many people confuse weddings with marriage, or they don't think past the wedding to the marriage. What are your feelings about weddings and how do they figure into the bigger picture of marriage?

EG: I think this is a particular trap for women—especially young women of the romantic variety, which is to say: young women. I myself have never been enchanted by the dream of the white wedding, and, heaven help us, the expectation that this exquisitely catered event should be "the happiest moment" of one's life. But I did ask a number of my heartsick single female friends about this very question, and one of them gave me a truthful and illuminating answer: The fantasy of the wedding day is that it represents undeniable public and private truth that you have been chosen. For that one day, you are the most valuable creature in the world—a treasure, a princess, a prize. For many women, who have never felt chosen or desirable or precious, this is an unshakable yearning. And I'm afraid many women do choose the wedding over the marriage. It seems a steep price to pay, but it comes from a place of deep, sad longing to be loved and to have it proven that you are of value.

After reading that, it got me thinking about my own wedding and how I didn’t get the wedding that I really wanted. You see, I never had dreams of having a grand wedding with hundreds of people in attendance. I wanted a quiet, simple wedding in a small chapel with just my husband, myself, our parents, our two siblings and a handful of very close family members. Mine would be counted with just two hands. Hubby, probably even less. Instead, we got married in one of the biggest churches in Metro Manila, it took me over five minutes to walk that long aisle, and we had over 250 guests, 70% of which, I have never met nor have been a part of our lives until that moment. Yes, we did the whole dog and pony show, to appease the in laws. And yes, I do cringe at the memory of it all.

To quote Elizabeth Gilbert, “ For that one day, you are the most valuable creature in the world—a treasure, a princess, a prize. For many women, who have never felt chosen or desirable or precious, this is an unshakable yearning.”

I grew up with a loving and caring mother, so my yearnings for feeling precious were next to nil. Okay, to be truthful, I didn’t always feel that way (hello, teen-age years) BUT, with a mature(er) eye looking back at my life, wow, I got lucky. By some cosmic draw, I was placed in my mother’s womb and brought up in this world by her.

Which brings me back to why I’ve written this piece. I have met brides who gushed and stressed about the wedding details, the worst of them all are called bridezillas. Apparently it’s a new breed of high strung women, driving their fiance, family members and wedding coordinators crazy with their incessant quest for what they deemed will be the happiest day of their life. Girlfriend, if your wedding day is the happiest day of your life, you’re doomed.

I planned my wedding in less than a month. It went something like this: reserve the church, plan a dinner shindig in the same facility, buy a simple wedding dress that doesn't look like a meringue, finish the paper work (which took the longest!), choose a menu from a caterer, get whatever free bridal cake and flowers that come with it. Done. Finito.

Brides get so caught up in the details and try to make everything look perfect. That’s right, look perfect. Real perfection doesn’t exist, but, happiness, kindness, laughter, patience, loyalty, forgiveness and love do. Shouldn’t you strive for those instead?



I didn’t look forward to our wedding. Instead, I looked forward to our marriage, which is the most exciting, exhilarating, frustrating, frightening, heart breaking, funny and hair raising roller coaster ride of my life! I love being married to Hubby. It’s the best decision I ever made in my whole life.

I didn’t have the quiet wedding of my fantasies, but I do have the marriage of my dreams, nightmares and all.